Henry Ford said: “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
Have you noticed that some people go out there, do their thing and it works perfectly? Every. Single. Time. On the odd occasions when it doesn’t, they bounce back and tackle it from a different angle. Everything they do looks effortless.
This is often due to having bags of confidence and high self-esteem.
These are the people who feel secure and know that they can rely on their skills and strengths to handle whatever comes their way. They are ready and able to handle what life throws at them.
They think “I
can” instead of “I can’t”.
confidence is embedded in reality. These people know exactly what their
strengths and weaknesses are. They don’t pretend to be something that they’re
Many people are
not so confident, but in actual fact, it’s not that hard to cultivate a sense
of confidence. It just requires some work.
It all starts with self-belief and building a confident mindset. Start by thinking “I can do that” instead of “Oh no, I can’t possibly do that”. Shake off any self-doubt.
Compare yourself kindly. We’re not all good at everything, but we are all good at something or have something that we can be proud of.
Make a list of the things that you are good at. Then practise so that you can do them even better.
Feel proud of the things that you do well. You don’t have to boast, but you can give yourself a pat on the back.
Dress for success, whether you are going to the office or to school, feeling confident in what you are wearing plays a part. Iron that shirt, polish those shoes!
Be assertive, not aggressive. Being aggressive turns a person into a bully. Quietly putting your foot down makes you somebody that people sneakily admire.
Take a small risk and challenge yourself to do something that’s just beyond your normal comfort zone. If at first, you don’t succeed, try again. Don’t give up.
Give yourself permission to be the ‘real you’. Instead of trying to fit in and be like everybody else, embrace your quirks and let them shine. Be the individual you are.
Remember what wise old Henry Ford said: “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
At the end of
the day, your confidence is your own to develop or undermine.
Remember last week we were talking about how bad bullies are and, even worse, how terrible it is to be bullied?
Here are some things that you can do if you are being targeted by a bully.
Get away as soon as possible and move to a safe please where there are other kids and adults.
Avoid places where you are alone – hang out with other people. Even if you are not friends with them – hang out near them anyway.
Act as if the bullying has no power over you. Look calm and confident (even if you are terrified). You can do this by standing up straight and tall – put your shoulders back and push your chest forward. (Practise this in the mirror at home – you never know when you might need to stand tall.)
Stand up for yourself – act as though the bullying is really boring and answer back with things like – So? Yup? Really? And…? Whatever you say! Who cares?
Get help from an adult you trust. Tell them what has happened to you and ask for their support. If one person does not listen – go to somebody else.
Keep in mind that bullying is about the person who is doing the bullying. Although they are targeting you and it affects your life – it’s not really about you – it says something about the person who is doing the bullying. Never forget that. It is not your fault.
Tell yourself that you are awesome, brave, lovable, worthy of respect and belonging. Nobody can take that away from you. Own it. Say it often. Remind yourself all the time that you are fabulous.
If you see somebody being bullied it is NOT cool to just walk away and not get involved either. YOUR SILENCE ENCOURAGES THE BULLY!
This is what you can do.
Don’t laugh and don’t encourage the bully in any other way.
Tell others not to join in on the bullying either. You can make a difference by encouraging others to do the same.
Help the victim any way you can – speak directly to them and say something like “Let’s get out of here.”
Show the victim that you are empathetic – say “I would feel sad and angry too” or “I’m sorry this is happening to you.”
Encourage the victim to tell an adult and offer to go with them.
Stand up for what is right – even if you are standing alone!